July
2007
Am I Crazy to Travel With a Baby?
It's summertime and so many people aretraveling. Family reunions, vacations, andother family matters have sent a few queriesmy way regarding tips for making the experienceof traveling with a baby a pleasant one.You hear horror stories about screaming kids in car on long drives. You may have been on a plane with a restless toddler that was disturbing the other passengers.It's pretty common to dread the prospect of beingone of those parents that struggle to keep their baby quiet in the midst of frustrated and judgmental strangers, or just to keep sane if
you are stuck in a car with an upset child.
There are ways to prevent a lot of distress.
When my daughter was 18 months old, we went on
a two-week car trip through Western Montana. She
did great. Now, we were lucky that she was (and
still is) a very mellow kid. But I also helped her
by including her in the travel plans, telling her
what was going to happen, what was happening, and
what had just happened every day.
She knew what to expect. I reminded her what wasn't
changing, and what was going to be different.
That information helped her integrate her experience
and orient herself to her new surroundings and rhythm
of each day.
Babies and young children often get forgotten in
the plans. We forget that they can understand us,
and need to be included. Because they can't talk
like we are used to communicating it's so easy to
assume they don't care what happens to them, that
they aren't aware of the changes as long as their
basic needs are met: sleep, hunger, comfort and
having familiar faces near.
But imagine having your spouse come in and start packing
a bag for you, talking to others about something, the
stress level increasing - even good stress - and then
one day, your spouse comes in, takes your hand, and leads
you to the car stuffed full, or an airport…but no
one says a word to YOU about where you are going, what's
happening, how long you'll be away - maybe forever????
Think about all the differences on a plane: weird air,
loud sounds, new people, video screens everywhere,
disorienting sensations, ear popping, sitting in a
crowded row of seats…not to mention if there are
any less than understanding folks nearby sending
non-verbal messages that they don't like you.
Add to that any stress your spouse might have, that
frantic, anxious energy trying to make sure you don't
squawk but remain cheerful…and encouraging you to
sleep amidst all that! Yeah, right! Unless, that is
your preferred coping mechanism for stress, sleeping
would be difficult.
Now, that's just the flight. Then, you find yourself
in a brand new place. New smells, accents, language maybe…
new faces, sounds…happy people that want to kiss you
but you don't know them at all…
Hmmm….do you start to understand what a baby might
go through? It's no less than that, and is perhaps
even more.
But talking to your baby about it all, keeping her
in the loop about plans, unfamiliar noises, people
and experiences will help.
Also, doing your own work to stay calm and centered
if your baby gets fussy is so important. If you are
upset - especially if your baby is - that sends the
message that "indeed, things are NOT okay, and are very
worrisome right now" and THAT can increase your baby's
distress.
Some further tips are to buy some age-appropriate toys
and give them out over the course of the trip rather
than all at once. And simple toys can be amazing. Sidra
was occupied by a wooden string of rainbow colored
beads on elastic for hours and hours.
Also, travel in the car early in the morning, during nap
times, and after meals. Stop often for breaks during the
peak active times during the day. Learn finger plays,
kid songs, and expect to do a lot of peek-a-boo if
someone else is driving!
Some good kid music choices are: anything by The Green
Chile Jam Band ; Raffi ; Red Grammar ; and Jake who is my favorite!
Enjoy your trip!