18
May
2008
Yes, indeed.
Recently, research has shown that mothers who are exposed to high levels of stress during pregnancy have babies that are more likely to have asthma and/or allergies. It was on the news just now, and you can read about it here.
The prenatal and perinatal psychology field has known about this for some time. In treating adults with allergies and asthma, as well as children and infants, when prenatal issues (emotional stress of mom, passed to baby) are addressed, the allergies dissipate. Often completely.
So while delighted that mainstream news and research is supporting the importance of the prenatal time period, what they didn't say was that it's treatable.
If you have allergies, or if your child does, consider doing some work with a trained pre and perinatal counselor to address the issues that arose during pregnancy. You might find that your allergies are relieved.
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, parenting issues
18
May
2008
So I've been in Wentachee now for a year, but only really began marketing myself as a counselor and birth doula a few months ago.
I am feeling impatient being the new kid on the block…I know most of what I do will be successful due to word of mouth. And patience is necessary when making connections, going out into the community with what I have to offer, meeting new people and basically enjoying myself thoroughly with all the new folks I get to talk to and spend time with.
As far as I can tell, there are no other doulas in Wenatchee. There's one in Moses Lake, and one in Ellensburg…but for here, it's me. And I look forward to attending births again, really, I do…it's been a long time. But it's not my total intention. I really want a space to practice in, to help parents learn to connect and bond with their babies before birth, as well as after, and to remove the blocks that inhibit that bonding.
I think many people aren't aware that it's possible to look to their own history, their own beginnings prenatally and during birth to find patterns and beliefs that have shaped their lives. I don't think as a culture we are aware that babies are having their own individual experience of their prenatal live, of their birth, that can be separate from the Mother's experience. Or that unborn babies are recording everything that happens, some of which will shape how they feel about themselves, and their world and how they relate to others.
I feel so passionately about helping parents understand that what they do and say matters on so many levels…and that we can determine the level of stress a baby is in, and often remedy the cause. That crying, sleep difficulties, eating/nursing problems, are only some of the things that are thought of as Normal or "High Maintenance" or having a "spirited child"….when sometimes it might be adaptation to a stressful experience.
But I am not sure how to deliver this knowledge without scaring people away. I am not certain this community is interested in much beyond being "normal."
This is frustrating to me, but I live here, and here I stay - somewhat reluctantly - and so while I wait to be able to practice my passion, I continue to meet others, make friends here when I can, and having a heck of a time.
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, parenting issues, what's happening in my life
1
May
2008
This evening I'm scheduled to hold a mini-lecture at the Belly to Baby store, in downtown Wenatchee. I've invited health and wellness practitioners to attend, as well as expecting or current parents.
My intention is to introduce myself and what I do to this community. I hope to articulate the main and basic principles of prenatal and perinatal psychology, but not get too detailed in that…Keep It Simple, Sweetie.
And the places I get stuck when I talk to people are citing studies and accurately describing them off the top of my head. If I am challenged in what I speak of, will I fumble and appear unprofessional and incompetent or gracefully field the comments and questions of skeptics?
How many times can I refer to something I read, or was taught before I start looking like I don't have any first hand experience of my own? I do, but not always stories that are useful in illustrating a concept at hand.
ACK. I always feel like I need more training, and more experience…but if I keep getting more training I'll never get out there in the community to get the experience.
So, off I go this evening, and I hope people show up! Next week I start a class for individuals and couples expecting a baby…
If you are interested, please let me know!
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, amazing newborns, infant communication, parenting issues, what's happening in my life
13
August
2007
They seem so disconnected…birth and eating. But they aren't.
Recently, I had a client that was having difficulty and was concerned with her baby daughter's eating and nursing habits. While some practical advice was warrented, my first questions were "did you have issues with food or eating when you were younger?" and "Did anything happen at Baby's birth around food?" and also, "What was going on with your own relationship to food while you were pregnanat?"
There were significant answers to all of these questions. First of all, Mom had had and eating disorder when she was younger and though was recovered, was quite anxious that her daughter NOT have issues with food. This level of energy put into eating and food clearly spoke to the baby as "beware, this is not just about easing hunger and accepting nourishment…this is something that is upsetting and worrisome."
Second of all, shortly after the birth Baby was taken to the nursury so mom could sleep. It seemed like a necessary separation for an over tired, under supported new mom, who has regretted it since. This regret about the separation was compounded by the fact that Baby was given formula against Mom's wishes. The guilt and anger Mom has felt about that has layered on top of the already existing negativity around food.
And lastly, the pregnancy itself was difficult in that Mom had a hard time keeping food down, and morning sickness lasted several months. she was, and still is, concerned that Baby wasn't getting enough nutrition, adding to even more anxiety around food.
So, knowing all that, it became clear that for this baby, eating and food were about much more than nutrition, and was not entirely comfortable at that.
During our session, I exposed the multilayered field of distress that Baby was experiencing and combined the practical aspects of introducing new foods, and timing of meals and nursing with some energy psychology techiques for both Mom's anxiety and Baby's experience and newly forming patterns.
Within a week, Mom reports that Baby is eating solids, and sleeping through the night. As well, she claims Baby is happy and relaxed, "Like a totally different baby!"
Although relationships between food and birth/prenatal issues are not obvious, they usually can be discovered with some insightful questions and educated interpretation. If you think about it, the first time any of us took in nourishment was after implantaion, and was our first physical interaction with our mother. Therefore, often, eating and food issues are directly related to issues with our mother, intimacy, connection, and survival.
Likewise, if we have other trauma from early in the pregnancy, it can manifest as issues with food. My own story is an example of that.
I lost a twin brother directly after implantation. I know this due to my own regressions, somatic memories and the way my life changed for the better in several ways after discovery and a healthy grieving process. During one of my sessions, I "felt" myself implant, and felt my twin fail to do so. I had the sense that there wasn't enough nutrition from our mother for both of us, and that I was "taking too much." In my sensing of it, I had "landed" high on the uterine wall and my brother fell past me, unable to implant.
Fact: The embryo that is higher on the uterine wall tends to get more nutrition. I found this fact out after I verbalized the memory.
It all made sense. My paradoxical and lifelong struggle with food was a double bind. I had always felt that I ate (took) too much, but also that there was never enough.
Just a few sessions a few years ago addressed this dynamic and my relationship to food changed. I no longer struggled with a voice in my head telling me to eat that or not eat this…how much to eat, or how little. I was able to relax and enjoy food without the guilt and shame that had accompanied it for so long. All my issues around food are not gone however, the habits of a lifetime didn't just dissapate…what changed was how I feel about it all. And that, now, is peaceful.
Please feel free to comment, or ask any questions you may have by clicking the title of this post and filling in the reply box.
Posted: Newsletter, Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, about sleeping, parenting issues
2
August
2007
My collegues have written a new book!
Carrie Contey and Debby Takikawa, two dedicated and passionate women, have written "CALMS: A Guide to Soothing Your Baby."
I wholeheartedly reccommend this book as a reference, a resource and a comfort to you as a parent. The skills you will learn are invaluable. "Honest, short, sweet and scientific, it offers parents and professionals a new view of babies and a tool kit for creating family harmony and parent-infant connection."
You can purchase this book from the What Babies Want website, or from Amazon . Or simply by callling 1-800-893-5070.
Thank you Carrie and Debby!
You both are gifts to parents and infants everywhere.
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, amazing newborns, crying, infant communication, parenting issues
10
July
2007
I'm at my mom's house, and have been since the end of April. Next door is a delightful family with three girls all within a year - the oldest, and then twins that were born ten months later.
Well, she and I were talking over the fence and somehow the conversation got around to birth. Her friend is having a baby soon and wanted to have a natural labor and birth. My neighbor offered this advice, "Don't worry about drugs, or C-section…they're there if you need them." She looked at me and said, "You probably would say something very different, right?"
I said, "Well, no actually. Medical technology is important and valuable, and she shouldn't worry about those things. Worry is one thing that can really contribute to a difficult labor. What I would say though, is to realize that what happens during birth matters to the baby. So if she were to need interventions of some sort, to talk to the baby and say why and include the baby in what is happening."
My neighbor asked what I meant by, "It matters to the baby."
Well, for instance, if a baby has a C-section, it might be okay for the mother but the baby may feel terrified. Like if labor hasn't started (and it's the baby that starts labor by secreting the hormone that gets it all going) then Baby ins't ready…suddenly, from a baby's point of view, mom may be scared, baby goes numb, there is bright lights, people with masks on, and hands lifting me out of my space…that's a LOT. And don't think for a moment that babies wouldn't know to be frightened by surgical masks…their brains are wired to look for and recognize human faces and if the first thing they see is NOT that, it can be disorienting. I also said that beliefs and imprints about how the world works can be affected by other kinds of birth too - like other interventions, long labor…
My neighbor was curious and began, with relief said, "well, all my girls came out so fast!"
I said, well, that can be hard too sometimes. Really fast labors can lead to transition issues…like "everytime something is going to change I need to do whatever I can to slow it down." Or, "Going from one place or situation to another is SCARY, I have to avoid it, or brace myself for it. If I get out of control something bad can happen." They may stall, procrastinate, get really emotional, come unglued, or be very controlling of what happens.
By this time, this young mother's jaw was hanging open and she was staring at one of her daughters. "You just described Malory" she said. I wasn't surprised. This happens a lot, where I describe belief patterns that fit with a certain type of birth…
We began talking about other things that can affect us even as far back as prenatal. Her mother had an anxiety disorder during her gestation, and that of her siblings. All of them have issues with anxiety. it isn't just genetic, I said. It's a learned response pattern.
And it can be changed. We know, and are learning more every day, about how to change neurological pathways in the body. Regular counseling and therapy doesn't do it…these imprints are in the BODY, in the cells…healing happens at that level, not by talking or expressing emotions (although these are useful and helpful things to do too). It is possible to access memory held in the body and release trauma patters.
And it is possible to do so for babies and children as well, so that these patterns and mistaken beliefs don't limit the life of an individual.
My neighbor headed inside to talk to her husband excitedly.
I love over the fence chats!
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, amazing newborns, infant communication, parenting issues
29
March
2007
In a recent post by Dr.Karen Shue on her blog, Neurofeedback on the Brain, she describes her thoughts and insights about happiness. At one point she says,
"The biggest one thing that makes a difference to happiness levels (other than optimism, but that's a story for another day) is relationships. Nurturing our social relationships may be one of the most powerful things we can do to increase our happiness…And even having positive relationships is not about finding the 'right people,' it's about being the 'right person'"
I completely agree. Karenhttp://www.justmommies.com/advertise2.shtml
talks about other factors as well. Read the article, it's well worth it and you won't lose your place here (this window will stay open for you.)
I will take it further, to say that how we perceive our relationships and events in our lives is significantly influenced by our earliest experiences. How we were treated and thought of, whether or not we were wanted (yes, even prenatally!) and the experiences of our birth influences how our brain sees the world. It is at these early times in our life that beliefs form about ourselves, our world and how we relate to it. It affects our biology, as Dr.Bruce Lipton has described in his work as a cellular biologist.
Lipton shows how our perceptions and beliefs create our enviornment and cellular structure in his book The Biology of Belief, an insightful book that is laced with humour in an easy-to-read style.
What many people don't realize, is that often, the origin of our beliefs about ourselves can be traced back to the time between conception and birth. What's also true is that as parents, you can help prevent your baby from forming mistaken beliefs about him/herself, as well as correct those beliefs that are already in place, so your baby doesn't have to grow up with a negative filter in place, affecting how he/she perceives himself and relationships.
It is most satisfying work to be able to facilitate the healing of early traumas, and change the way we see the world, and our relationships for the better.
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, parenting issues
2
March
2007
Hi. Bruce Lipton is a pioneer in cellular biology and has elegantly been able to show how nature and nurture both work together to create our biology. He discusses beliefs and reality and how we have the power to change them.
This video found on the site "Birth Ecology Project" of an interview with Bruce Lipton by Alan Steinfeld is "a captivating explanation of humanities next step in conscious evolution. I recommend listening to the whole thing, it's a fast five-minute video and the synthesis of his vision at the end is inspiring. He articulates why global community is humanity's evolutionary step through our fractal nature of being."
Check it out, and I'd love to hear from you about your thoughts regarding what he says!
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology
4
February
2007
I've talked about a lot of possible reasons why babies can be upset, or act in ways that seem unhealthy. Your stress, your baby's birth memories that may be upsetting, moving too fast, and jumping from one activity to another…are all reasons why a baby might need to tell you, or show you, what's going on for him.But what happens when none of those reasons fit?
What if, no matter how hard you reflect on your baby's birth, prenatal experience and infancy to date, you can't find anything that resonates as a reason for his upset?If you had a beautiful birth, peaceful and connected pregnancy, and no problems during or after the birth - what could be wrong?Of course, ruling out any physical or medical reasons - digestion, food allergies, illness - what's left?
Well, could your baby be telling you something about YOU?
Let me tell you a story.
When I was in school one of my instructors showed excerpts of a video session with of one of his young clients and her mother. I'll relay the key points for you and then explain why this is important.
A toddler could barely walk, and she kept her legs stiff and spread apart so that it was even hard for her to stand. Her parents couldn't figure out what was going on with their baby - having been to see medical specialists and found nothing physically wrong to explain her posture.
This had been going on for several months. She was over a year old.
In the session, my instructor could not find any reason in this toddler's own history to explain her odd stance. So he asked the mother what was happening for her around that same age. As it turned out, the mother had been in a body cast from the age of six months, to well over a year.
It was so many years ago, and who would ever consider it important in this case? But at the next session, this mother brought in her photos of her as a toddler and astoundingly, the cast she was in kept her legs in exactly the same position as her daughter's legs were now, voluntarily.
My instructor then had the mother "re-experience" that time in her life using a method I call "regression." She went back in her mind to that age when she was in a cast and remembered what it felt like, and was able to identify that part of her that was stuck there. As she felt the blocked energy and released it, during the session the little girl, who was in the room while the mother was in her regression, stood up normally for the first time, her legs in the usual, healthy position.
What is important here is that energetically, emotionally, and physically, we can carry our trauma in our bodies. We hold our upsets and blocked energy in our cells, and then - since our cells are what create our babies - we pass those cellular memories along to our children unwittingly.
If there is "no reason" for your baby's upset or emotions that you can see, try looking to your own past. Look deeply, journal, or talk to someone who can "hold your hand" while you explore. The above story is a extreme one, and perhaps yours is not. But maybe you'll find something out about yourself, and in so doing, you can own it as yours, resolve it, thus releasing your child from something that doesn't belong to him.
Click the title above to respond with questions or comments!
Posted: Newsletter, Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, infant communication, parenting issues
26
January
2007
Here's a great post on the blog Mia's Saving Grace about the frustration of closed adoption records. And how it affects adoptees trying to search for their roots.
So, if we open the records, and also consider that the infant that has been relinquished is aware and taking in the experiences involved in the adoption process…can we perhaps move the process forward by making it more respectful of that infant? More conscious? More compassionate and supportive to not only the birth mother, the future adult adoptee and the adoptive parents, but to the BABY?
I think so.
Check out my ebook, "Strengthening Connections " to find out ways you can help your adopted infant adjust to life in your family.
Posted: Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, adoption, amazing newborns, parenting issues