March
2007
Does Your Baby Scream and Hate the Bath? (click here to leave a comment)
This is such a common thing…so many babies don't like bathtime, some forever and some for a few months.
And it can be so hard for parents to know what to do, right? You know bathing has to happen, even if it's just a sponge bath, but sometimes, for some babies, water on their skin is so very upsetting!
How can you get through an essential activity when you know it's going to upset your baby? And why is it so upsetting for them?
Before I get to those answers, let me ask you this…
Have you ever had an experience that was really upsetting or traumatic, and that caused you to not want to do anything that reminded you of it ever again? We all have stuff like that….I am freak out about bees…anything that stings (although now, as an adult, I am okay with honeybees and bumblebees)…and I've been stung a total of 34 times in my life all before the age of 12…twice with multiple sting experiences involving hives. Even when I stayed very still…and didn't flap my arms…I have been stung.
I have a hard time with bees. When one buzzes around me I flap and squeal and look completely undignified and neurotic. And as pacifistic as I am, and cherishing of all life, when I see a yellow jacket I holler, "KILL, KILL!" and with a blessing that it be reincarnated as a butterfly, I squash it.
I am completely okay with this. I still love summer, and I still eat on the table on the deck on warm evenings…
But what if my fear was about something much bigger that affected my daily routine?
Babies have memories too. Sometimes bathing can trigger painful, scary or upsetting ones specifically from birth. Let's think about it…what does birth have in common with bathtime?
Hmmm…well, wet and chilly - even if the room is warm, wet skin is cold for a while, and compared with in the water or in the womb…brrrrr!
Hands, reaching to put you somewhere, or lift you out….for a C-section baby, this might be reminiscent of being lifted out of the womb…and for other babies maybe being carried away from Mom….
And drying off…wow, yeah, lets' not forget that first soft cotton blanket used to dry off Baby…for him it felt like sandpaper compared to the softness of internal body parts surrounded by water!
And if your baby has upsetting and unresolved feelings from his birth experience, it is completely possible that he has linked the entire process of bathtime with the time he was born…and he's trying to tell you about it.
Okay, that's the possible "why"….now what can you do?
First, empathize empathize empathize! Try and sense what it's like, and really listen to your baby. Reassure her that even though it was similar, it isn't birth and she's safe. Accept her anger and fear, hold it gently and don't shush her, but instead remind her she's not alone and thank her for telling you.
If you find yourself feeling triggered and emotional by your baby's upset, the above messages can be difficult to think of in the moment. It can be overwhelming to discover your baby has such strong feelings, and you might feel the need for support yourself.
Consider working with me individually to help you and your baby find flow and resonance about this or any other issue.