Having a baby can be both amazing, and terrifying for both you and your partner.
There are many resources that can help you have the best birth you can, and feel as prepared as possible. But the books and advice from doctors and friends aren't always what you are looking for.
You may be conflicted with what you want for yourself during the birth with what other people advise. You may feel you want someone with you that has experience, and won't leave when the nurse's shift ends. Or your partner might need extra support, someone to help suggest things he can do and be a middleman between the two of you and the hospital staff so he can remain with you when you need him.
You may not even realize you need another person at your baby's birth, but it could be something for you to consider.
What is a Doula?
A doula is a trained, professional person who attends a birthing mother during her labor and birth. Offering wisdom, support, clarity and assistance for tasks from helping you develop your birth plan to holding your hand and helping you cope with the contractions during labor. She can help translate the medical language for you, and help you be well informed before you make decisions when you are in the hospital.
Studies have shown that the presence of a doula has resulted in shorter labors, fewer obstetrical interventions (like C-section, forceps or vacuum extraction) and mothers report more feelings of empowerment and satisfaction with their birth experience than those who did not have a doula.
You may be wondering about having a "stranger" at such an intimate experience.
Those who have chosen to have a doula present have found that the visits before labor starts, prenatally, helped them to feel comfortable and get to know their doula - and also was a good way to make sure the doula chosen was a good fit. Once labor has started, most women find that their worries about having someone new in their lives gives way to the comfort and security of someone who knows what's going on and is supportive and constant in their presence.
A doula can even be the one to tell others to leave or remain if needed/desired, so, for example, the awkward feeling of "Mom, I just need less people here" can be executed professionally and gently without you having to take your attention away from the process of birthing your baby.
A doula will attend to your physical comfort, your emotional state and can have suggestions for natural pain relief, positions to help ease the baby out more easily and ways to speed up labor - as well as advice on how to avoid slowing the process down.
A doula supports the birth partner too rather than take his place, which may be a concern to some people. Helping him know how to massage, where to put pressure and how to support his laboring partner, and assurance that he's doing well can give a nervous new daddy the needed affirmation that he's doing a good job. This can go a long way to starting off the relationship with his new baby with strength, confidence and love.
After the baby is born, a doula can stay up to a few hours or as long as you've agreed on - to help you get started with this new task of parenting. She can help with breastfeeding, holding the infant, and how to respond to a baby's cries in ways that support the baby emotionally.
Usually a doula will also make a post-natal visit to your home to follow up and answer any questions you may have.